A bridal shower is a gift-giving party held for a bride-to-be in anticipation of her wedding. The custom originated in the 1890s and is today most common in the United States and Canada.
The history of the custom is rooted not necessarily for the provision of goods for the upcoming matrimonial home, but to provide goods and financial assistance to ensure the wedding may take place.
Men are typically not allowed at these functions. But recently more men have been attending.
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History
The custom of the bridal shower is said to have grown out of earlier dowry practices, when a poor woman's family might not have the money to provide a dowry for her, or when a father refused to give his daughter her dowry because he did not approve of the marriage. In such situations, friends of the woman would gather together and bring gifts that would compensate for the dowry and allow her to marry the man of her choice.
The earliest stories about these events have been known to originate in Brussels, Belgium around 1860. A frequently quoted legend traces the origin of this practice to the 16th or 17th Century Netherlands. However, there are also parallels with many dowry practices and the United States colonial or hope chest (trousseau) custom.
A related custom practised in medieval England was the Bride Ale: in Langland's Piers Plowman (§ B.II.45) there is a reference to a bruydale. This was a feast held before the wedding day, at which the bride made beer and sold it to the guests at a high price.
In the United States, bridal showers started in urban areas in the 1890s mainly among the upper middle classes. By the 1930s, bridal showers had spread to rural America.
The earliest use of this sense of the word in print may be in the Grand Rapids Michigan Evening Press 22 June 4, 1904: "The 'shower parties' that through mistaken hospitality the wedded couple are forced to attend ..." and may derive from the custom in Victorian times for the presents to be put inside a parasol, which when opened would "shower" the bride-to-be with gifts.
Maps Bridal shower
Customs and gift-giving
Many different customs have developed in different regions and social groups, but the basic format has been relatively unchanged for generations, and emphasizes traditional gender roles. Sociologists like Beth Montemurro write that the ritual of the bridal shower "socializes women into the hyper-feminized traditional wife role," with its emphasis on the future role of the bride-to-be as family cook, homemaker, and sexual partner. Historian Elizabeth Pleck echoes this dynamic in pointing out that traditional shower gifts were "for the bedroom or the kitchen." But this role is more of an homage to the mothers and grandmothers than a reflection of how the bride-to-be will actually behave in the marriage.
Although the format has remained relatively consistent, there have been some significant changes. An etiquette guide from the 1920s suggested showers should be "purely spontaneous and informal," with guests arriving unannounced at the bride-to-be's home, while a planning guide from the 1950s suggests more complex themes and games.
Showers are often held during the afternoon or evening, but not generally as luncheons or dinner parties. They commonly take place four to six weeks before the wedding.
Due to the prior history of showers being "purely spontaneous and informal", showers have not developed the same formal etiquette that has developed with respect to weddings. Invitations may be issued informally, by mail, telephone, or e-mail.
As showers are explicitly a gift-giving occasion, everyone who attends the shower is expected to bring a small gift. People who decline the invitation for any reason are not expected to send a gift or otherwise participate in the party. The hosts are expected to hand over gifts, or favors. These can be small gifts like chocolate coins that have been personalized with the name of the bride and the date of the event or a simple thank-you message.
Food can be served at bridal showers. Treats such as cake and candy buffets can also be served for guests.
Hosts
Hosting the bridal shower falls to one or more close friends of the bride, often one or more of the bridesmaids. Mothers, sisters, and other close family members usually do not host bridal showers, as it may be seen as rude and greedy for the family to ask for gifts for their own members. Instead of a bridal shower, family members and future in-laws who wish to celebrate the upcoming wedding host a bridal tea, bridesmaids' luncheon, engagement announcement party, or other non-gift-oriented party. Some organizations, such as social clubs or religious groups, host bridal showers for every member who is being married.
Guests
Guests are chosen from among the bride's personal friends, family, and other well-wishers. Men are not usually present at bridal showers.
The number of guests and their relationship to the bride varies widely. In Canada, among some immigrant communities parties in community halls with upwards of 300 guests were normal, while other cultures emphasized intimate parties with only close friends and relatives.
In general, people who are invited to a bridal shower are also invited to the wedding ceremony.
How To Make Bridal Shower Fun
What do you do at a bridal shower? Have fun of course. There are so many bridal shower games to choose from. For example, from games in relation to gift opening to others on wedding registry ideas. There can be quiz games about the bride and groom. And of course, lots and lots of fun things to eat and drink. There should be fun music to encourage an upbeat tempo and even dancing.
The ultimate bridal shower planning checklist is what you need to know, from finding the perfect venue to picking the perfect time and beyond.
1. Twelve Weeks & Counting...
About three months before the shower, you should be:
- having a conversation with the bride so that you can find out what she has in mind, from a particular restaurant to a specific kind of food.
- pinning down the date of the event.
- creating the guest list.
- making the reservations for the venue.
2. Eight Weeks & Counting...
Items that should be on your bridal shower planning checklist two months before the shower include:
- sending out save-the-date emails/calling important guests to ensure there are no major conflicts in scheduling.
- creating a budget.
- purchasing or making the shower invitations.
- making the final decisions about flowers, decorations, food, favors, entertainment and other details.
- getting addresses for the invitations.
- creating your detailed list of tasks so that you can delegate various tasks.
3. Four Weeks & Counting...
A month before the shower, your bridal shower planning checklist should include:
- making/addressing invitations. You'll need to include information about the bridal registry and theme of the party (if there is one).
- shopping for props, decorations, and other disposable items.
- mailing invitations.
- purchasing or making favors for guests.
- confirming whether any desserts or other treats will be brought by various guests.
4. Two Weeks & Counting...
At just two weeks before the shower your bridal shower planning checklist should be keeping you busy with:
- placing the order for the flowers.
- buying a shower gift.
- choosing your outfit for the shower. This is a great excuse to buy a new dress or cute outfit!
- creating a shopping list for any food or drinks you might need; don't forget to include any extra ingredients you'll need for games or other purposes.
- buying booze if you'll be having cocktails.
- picking up essentials such as a punch bowl, music and equipment or serving dishes.
5. Seven Days & Counting...
By the week before the shower, your bridal shower planning checklist should be getting pretty short. At this point, you should be:
- confirming reservations, orders, delivery times and RSVPs.
- assembling and wrapping favors.
- buying groceries.
- creating a mental image of the venue in order to have a plan for decorating.
- preparing games and other shower activities.
6. One Day & Counting...
On the day before the shower, you should be fairly relaxed and only have a few tasks left to do, like:
- preparing food.
- setting up equipment.
- assembling the decorations.
- setting the tables.
- putting the finishing touches on decorations and favors.
- requesting any additional help for setting up.
- running errands.
Global prevalence and alternatives
Though many cultures have events before the wedding, bridal showers are most common in the United States and Canada.
In the United Kingdom, bridal showers have been described as a "consumerist American idea" with "limited acceptability". In the UK, wedding presents are normally selected from a list provided by the couple, and delivered either at the wedding or by the shop, and sometimes displayed at the wedding.
In India, Mehndi is a bridal-centric pre-wedding event where the bride's female friends and family gather to prepare the bride for the wedding. In the event the bride's traditional henna tattoos are made.
In Denmark, the only pre-wedding events commonly held is a bachelorette party for the bride and a bachelor party for the groom, both called polterabend.
See also
- Bachelorette party
- Bachelor party
- Baby shower
- Engagement party
References
Source of the article : Wikipedia
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